“She’s not as innocent as she looks,” is the first thing I hear when I do something wrong.
I have a small face. My face is as wide as it is long, I have a large forehead with high eyebrows, full cheeks, a small chin and my features are relatively small. Voila! We have some essential ingredients required for a baby face. To top it off, I’m fairly small in stature. I really don’t mind how I look. I have my good days and my bad days but, for the most part, I don’t have an issue with it. I do, however, have a problem with people judging me based on how I look as opposed to judging me based on my character and deeds. When things go topsy-turvy, you must judge my person and judge what I have done wrong. Do not judge me for my appearance because you know very well, by the laws of logic, that my physical appearance has nothing to do with this.
I recall my experience in college (British High School). The rumour mill was churning gossip left, right and centre, sparing almost none. The figurehead for this endless operation was a student who collected and distributed gossip like a child collecting Pokemon cards. It was a hobby and an obsession. When my turn came, and nasty things were said about me, what was the first thing that people said about me?
“She’s not as innocent as she looks.”
I did not exit the womb with the intention to look like a 12-year-old beyond the age of 12. I did not choose how I was going to look. God chose that for me. What did my appearance have to do with anything you were saying about me? Why do people choose to attack people on their physical appearances anyway? Physical appearances do not harm anyone. There are, of course, obvious exceptions when it comes to this such as the woman in the news recently who intended to visit a mosque without following the recommended attire. That was an intentional affront. An otherwise physical appearance does not intend to harm.
Coming across “sweet and innocent” due to your words is another insult that can be thrown your way. Let me make this clear, the kind of people who would do this are narcissists and psychopaths and that is a very serious insult to level at someone. Many of us, when we speak to people, have not prepared beforehand to make sure that we come across a certain way. Who does this? Why would we do this? Again, it’s a highly illogical thing to do. If you are at odds with someone, stick to the facts, stick to what you know unless you do already know that person well enough to make this assumption or there is circumstantial evidence.
I am not intending to come across as sweet, innocent and modest… I am trying to be sweet and modest because it is the kind and right thing to do. I do intend to be kind to people and I do intend to be humble. I do not believe pride is a very great thing to have, it’s a destructive and unhealthy trait. So, yes, I try to be humble. I definitely do not feel the need to come across in a good way and the people in my life who know me well know that I am not inhibited. I have a strong urge to be myself and if that means that I come across as sweet and innocent then let me ask you to consider a person’s actual intentions. If you tend to jump to conclusions based on how someone looks, re-evaluate your decision-making processes and judgement of character.
Judge people based on their character and deeds. Do understand that people make mistakes. Both you and me. It’s 2018… why are we still judging people based on how they look?
Sopshki out.
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Sofearless 
I get to hear that too. OR that I get away with a lot because I look kind… Pff whatever. What that movie called…where there is a character that sees the people’s looks depending on their personality. Shallow Hall , I think. Really funny movie but also interesting.
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I like that you want to be accountable for your actions, that’s so refreshing to hear. Go, you! That’s an amazing film. How much easier would life be if we could do that. Thankfully, we have brains… now if only we could all switch it on once in a while lol.
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The other day, my mother was intruding me to one of her friends and she asked me if I was in the sixth grade. No, dear lady, I am not in the sixth grade.
A lot of my old friends wouldn’t talk about certain things around me because, oh, poor Arachnid, she’s too young and pure and innocent to understand the happenings. They wouldn’t swear around me either, which *really* annoyed me.
But, to look on the bright side, innocent-looking people can get away with more. 😉
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Oh, desi aunties… don’t worry, I feel like they all kind of just see us as children who somehow still need to get married off even though they think that. *the logic, the logic*
The swearing thing never made sense… even if it’s around children because is it really that bad? It’s good for your health.
And nu-uh, dude, we don’t want to get away with it because we won’t learn that way.
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Very well said Sophski ,(cool name ) . I think I have heard this too , just the Indian version of it. And it’s really bad to judge a person by the way one looks and wears.
Action speaks more than anything. While judging all together is not at all required . Just be like the elephant who mind his own business and Ignore big mouthed indivial like they don’t even exist. 😀😀
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Omg, no wayyyyy… it’s so rare for a guy! You must have a serious baby face. I just remembered I saw your gravatar, the one you had before. You have the same vibe as Clay Jensen from 13 Reasons Why in terms of facial features but still like you said whatever people look like, we must judge based on characters and luckily, in your case, the assumption seems to fit.
I don’t think I will ignore it… because it hurts people, so I can’t do that. At least we are making a start by not succumbing to this mindset. So THANK YOU for not being like that.
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I can relate to this on so many levels smh
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I’m sure once you open your mouth they’ll take you seriously cos girl you don’t play around! You know what I love, in your case, no one can judge you based on how you look on WP because you don’t have a gravatar. We have to take you for your word.
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Bahahahaha thanks, I think? :p I’m working on the picture lol. I’ll get to it. Eventually haha
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Haha yep, what I mean is you’re smart and to the point. 🙌🏼 it’s up to you, you do you!
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Because we’re hard-wired to do so, Soph, or at least have been programmed to do so through generations of communal, red in tooth & claw, existence. Unfortunately, very few of us will ever figure out how to override our genetic & environmental programming in order to judge actions rather than beliefs & appearances.
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I guess I’m really not a realist… or wired the same way. There are good and intelligent people in the world. We can do better than that. I’ve started with myself and that’s a start at the very least.
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Darn straight!
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At the age of 14 I was already 6″3′ and over 250 pounds. I was a child trapped in a grown up body and was judged as if I was an adult. People would tell me to act my age and I would say I am”. lol. Now, the younger generation don’t really believe that I’m as old or older than their parents because I look younger than I am and refuse to act my age.
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That’s damn annoying and wrong.
We are opposites in that way, I’ve been 5ft since the age of 10/11, and sometimes people mistake my baby facedness for baby like competencies and it’s the opposite with people who may look a little more serious. It seems society wants us to have a balanced face… both sweet but mature.
Looking sweet doesn’t mean a person is sweet. Looking serious does not mean a person is serious. For real, just talk to people and get to know them. Sometimes people are nervous as well so they just might not smile and retreat and then they’re perceived to be unfriendly. We all want people to place theirselves in our shoes but not everyone is willing to do the same for others.
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Well said
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Well, no one ever accused me of that. LOL
Very interesting post, I have heard that phrase often said about others.
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Hahahahaha 😂😂. LOL, now I want to leave a comment under your post saying “he’s not as innocent as he looks” and just leave people wondering. 🤐 and thank you! Yep, no one ever asks to look innocent either.
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LOL Oh people will be wondering. LOL
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What a beautiful write up. We are often so prejudice with our own views often we don’t realize we are judging people. 😊🌸
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Thank you and yes… and with all this prejudice based on just looking at someone, it’s no wonder that people live in dark corners alone. I hope, if you aren’t already, that we remember not to do this to others. Let’s start with ourselves. Thank you for reading. 🙂
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Absolutely 👍
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Honestly, I think people would use anything to tear other people down- and that’s really their problem. Like you said, it’s illogical to use “sweet and innocent” as an insult. If the worst someone can find fault with is that someone is “too nice” for instance, then that really says a lot about their own character, and only compliments the person they’re trying to tear down. I really agree with you about humility as well. Great post!
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It’s such a personal insult that has nothing to do with the issue at all… you’re right, when people have nothing to say really, they’ll just say anything to tear someone down, says a lot about the person. We need “too nice” in this world. And thank you!
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After I initially left a comment I appear to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a comment is added I receive four emails with the exact same comment. There has to be a means you are able to remove me from that service? Thanks!
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You will have to go on your WordPress settings, if I’m correct.
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